Proverbs 5:20

I was reading this verse the other day, I’ve read it many times before, but this time it really stood out to me. I looked it up in a few translations. The translation of the Bible that I read is the New International Readers Version (NIrV) and in Prpverbs 5:20 is says “My son, why be captured by a woman who commits adultery? Why hug the wife of another man?” That is pretty straight forward… Why hug someone who is not your spouse?  For those of you who immediately say that this only applies for an adultorus woman, let’s stop and think about what adultry is.  Adultry is a relationship outside of marriage.  You can dress that statement up however you want, but in the end, if you are not married to them, it is outside of marriage.  That is exactly how the NIrV words it.  There is no need, after all, what is a hug? By definition a hug is

noun –verb (used with object)

1. to clasp tightly in the arms, esp. with affection; embrace.
2. to cling firmly or fondly to; cherish: to hug an opinion.
3. to keep close to, as in sailing, walking, or in moving along or alongside of: to hug the shore; to hug the road.

–verb (used without object)

4. to cling together; lie close.


5. a tight clasp with the arms; embrace.

Now apart from the Bible, lets just think about this logically. I’m sure you’ve liked someone before, or perhaps, you are dating someone, or are already married. How do you feel seeing that person affectionately clasp someone else in their arms? Not so much fun right? I agree, es no bueno… And the Bible agrees with that right there in Proverbs 5:20. Well suppose you don’t trust the NIrV, after all, no other translation actually says hug…

Lets take a look at a few other versions. What about the NIV or NKJV, those are both very popular translations. “Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife?” (NIV)  “For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?” (NKJV) Lets think about that for a minute, embrace in the arms or embrace the bosom. Looking back at the definition of hug, the first definition said “to clasp tightly in the arms, esp. with affection; embrace.” Ok, there is proof that embracing and hugging is the same. Let’s take a look at the definition of bosom,


1. the breast of a human being.
2. the breasts of a woman.
3. the part of a garment that covers the breast.
4. the breast, conceived of as the center of feelings or emotions.
5. something likened to the human breast: the bosom of the earth.
6. a state of enclosing intimacy; warm closeness: the bosom of the family.


7. of, pertaining to, or worn on or over the bosom.
8. intimate or confidential: a bosom friend.

–verb (used with object)

9. to take to the bosom; embrace; cherish.
10. to hide from view; conceal

I like the fourth definition “The breast, conceived of as the center of feelings or emotions.” The center of feelings of emotions, huh, to embrace the center of feelings or emotions of another person. That is pretty intimate. A hug is a lot more special than people realize, looking at this one scripture, God has shown me the intimacy of a hug. That it isn’t something that should be easily thrown around. Or to embrace the breasts of a woman. Well when you word it like that it seems so much more intense right? All I did was take the definitions of the overlooked words in this scarcely mentioned verse. You shouldn’t hug someone of the opposite sex that is not your spouse. Plain and simple, if you don’t know that someone is going to be your spouse, you shouldn’t be hugging them.

Consider this, when you hug someone, how close physically are you to them? Touching? Correct? Belly to belly, chest to chest. Without getting sexual, could you be any closer to them? Perhaps kissing, but really, when you hug someone, is it a real hug, do you really embrace them? Don’t you hold them tight, their body pressing against yours? To me, that is how I hug. Now, think about the jealously thing again, how would you feeling seeing your spouse or future spouse against another person? But wait, you so easily hug other people, why? Why do that to your future spouse? This generation has fallen so far where sex outside of marriage seems to be so ok, yet isn’t it strange that the divorce rate continues to climb? I know this probably seems extreme or over conservative, don’t hug someone unless you know you will marry them… Ya, it kinda is, but I want a very blessed and favored relationship.

I am very in love with Patrice, and I really do believe with everything inside of me that she is going to be my wife. One night I was very broken, sad, very very sad because me and Patrice were not able to hang out or talk since it is against the rules to start a relationship in masters. I was saying goodbye to her for a while, and praying a lot, and I felt the Holy Spirit very strongly, and God said, “Don’t worry, you can have her back soon.” Through tear soaked eyes, I looked at her and told her that God had just spoken to me more clearly than ever before. We both had really felt that we were meant to be together, and this was further confirmation and a reminder that everything is going to be ok.

Before I found this passage, I had already stopped hugging girls and had asked Patrice to stop hugging guys, she gladly did, I explained that it made me jealous. Song of Solomon 8:6 says “for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.” Love is jealous, it has to be, so me being jealous about her hugging other guys was natural, it was a fruit of love. If you truly love them, you as well will be jealous. It isn’t a lack of trust, I trust her with my very life, I trust her more than any other mortal soul. I know she always has my best interests in mind, however, to see her affectionately embrace some other guy hurts. It should. After all, love is as jealous and unyielding as the grave. What is more unyielding than the grave, no one can avoid it and no one can escape it. Love is an absolute, one of the very few things that are completely absolute. And I am absolutely in love with Patrice, there is no one I want to hug other than her, just her, I don’t want to share intimate moments with anyone else. Why would I want to hug the wife of another man, I love Patrice, not another woman, so it would be foolish for me to affectionately embrace any other woman, especially since every other woman is the wife of another man. So this jealously was Biblical, I knew that, but when I read Proverbs 5:20, I was shocked to see that not hugging another woman was also Biblical. Hugs seem so casual now, everyone hugs everyone, but I don’t believe that it should be that way. People think it is absurd, but it is in fact Biblical.

Now after contemplating that, you are left with two choices. First you could ignore that verse, hug whoever you want, it’s just a hug right? But wouldn’t that be feeding the flesh? What compels you to desire the hug of another anyways? Or you could choose to not hug anyone who you are not positive is going to be your spouse. James 4:17 says ” So when you know the good things you should do and don’t do them, you sin.” and in 1 Samuel 15:22 God said that “to obey is better than to sacrifice.” I would like to inspire the world. If the Bible says not to hug anyone other than your spouse, and that if you know the right thing and you don’t do it, then you are sinning, and obedience is better than sacrifice, then it is a sin and foolish to choose the first option. Just something to think about, I like to inspire thought. Don’t take my word for it, look it up yourself, determine what you believe, that is theology. You must not only know what you believe, but you must know why you believe it.

Oh, and by the way, for those of you wondering, me and Patrice are very happy, this methodology is working very, very well for us.


~ by bharter on July 14, 2008.

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